Longing is defined as “strong, persistent desire or craving, especially for something unattainable or distant.” But we don’t need a dictionary to tell us this. We’ve all felt longing at one time or another… for relief from pain, or a woman, or maybe a new life all together.
Music can help alleviate longing. The silly bounce of your favorite 80s jam can make things seem a bit brighter.
But sometimes we don’t want brighter. We just want to feel understood. Bryant Vazquez gets this. On Conscious, with a Thousand Sleepy Thoughts Untamed, his 2010 LP, Vazquez has created an album perfect for anyone who wants what they can’t have and needs some empathy.
It’s easy to become wary of singer-songwriters with guitars. After so many musicians have tried (and failed) to work their love of Bob Dylan or Elliot Smith into their tunes, one becomes nervous about giving a new songwriter a chance. Thankfully, Vazquez works his love of songwriters past into his songs without sounding derivative.
The album begins with “Counter-Love, Original Response,” a snapshot of unattainable desire laid bare. “I called her name out loud,” Vazquez sings, “hoping to hear from the clouds.” One of the hardest parts of longing can be silence in the face of our asking, “Why?”
Vazquez explores not only longing itself, but the feelings that go with it. “Jamais Vu,” or “Never Considering” in French, is about forgetting one’s self in the face of desire. “Say When” expands on this, looking at the perils of getting what we want.
“Some Freak of Fancy,” the album’s last track, is Vazquez’s take on what always comes eventually; letting go. He ends things on a defiant note, singing “Fuck it. I ain’t sorry. I just wanted to be around you.”
